Sunday, 5 February 2017

Why Long Distance Relationships Are Completely Stupid

Before I even begin this post please note that I am not someone who has never experienced a long distance relationship. I had a LDR many years ago and learned pretty quickly what a dumb idea it is. Let me also stress that I am aware this is not the case for ALL long distance relationships. For example, if you meet someone on holiday or you knew each other for a while beforehand and then one of you had to leave for a reason like work, military or education there is a reasonable chance things could still work out but if it's someone you've never met who lives in, say, the Arctic or Venezuela or China and you're halfway across the world... you're better off finding ways to invest your time more wisely.


It's NOT a REAL RELATIONSHIP. 
I've heard nearly every excuse like "but love is love despite the distance" etc. and whatnot. I don't believe it. I've heard this so many times by so many different people who have been in a similar circumstance. I know from experience that people who tend to be drawn to the idea of a long distance relationship are people who are in some ways needing a placeholder for a girlfriend or boyfriend as they are currently in a situation which does not make it possible for them to meet anybody. It's basically a dating sim for people who for whatever reason can't get a date IRL. Generally this changes as people go through life and I can guarantee that after said people graduate or move town or go off to college or whatnot that they will meet someone in real life.

It prolongs / delays the inevitable breakup through feelings of anticipation. 
A lot of people fall into the trap of trying stretch relationships well past their use by date but this is more so the case with long distance relationships. Face it, unless you are rich as fuck and have 0 obligations you're unlikely to ever meet that man all the way in Bulgaria you've been staying up to chat to - sacrificing precious sleep on a time-zoned ticking time-bomb of a "relationship".  Snap out of the overly romanticized delusions and think of things from a practical sense and you'll see how both parties are just wasting each other's time. And if you've been talking for a year or more and NEVER met... maybe just accept the fact that it's NEVER going to happen. On top of that it tends to delay the inevitable breakup because, as will be discussed more in the next point, people tend to only show their "good side" and hide anything bad. This can make the person on the other end seem more "perfect" than they really are whereas in a face-to-face relationship these deal breakers would be caught much earlier on.

Nothing is what it seems...
When you're regularly seeing someone you get to easily learn things about them through body language and how they respond in different situations. With a long distance relationship this is just not possible. On top of that it's very easy for people to deliberately only show their "good side" via and tell the person on the other end everything they want to hear. For seasoned cheaters, it becomes very easy to cheat and go behind the other's back. People do this all the time on social media where they put on a persona make themselves out to be much better than they actually are and in the situation of long distance relationships where the aim is to impress and keep the other person's attention this is bound to happen in far greater doses. Not to mention it's open to abuse by people with serious personality disorders who most people should steer clear of in the dating game.

Lastly: intimacy is nonexistent 
If you laugh at how "pathetic" the guys who have an anime body pillow "waifu" yet you are in a long distance relationship with someone you've never met how is it any different? Science has proven physical intimacy is an important aspect in any relationship and face it, it's impossible to engage in cuddle sessions or more R rated things with someone you a) haven't met and b) is 90000000000 miles away.

TL;DR Long distance relationships are dumb. As someone who has previously tried one, I do NOT recommend.

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