Sunday, 13 November 2016

Why Donald Trump is the Wobbuffet of American Politics

The US election happened this week and many people were shocked with the result of Donald Trump winning against Hillary Clinton for the role of the next American president. Whilst we are not a political blog and we don't want to be taking sides we thought we would make a statement on this election using the one topic which is of most interest to us: Pokemon. During the election campaign we couldn't help but notice some startling resemblances to the billionaire playboy turned maverick Republican president-elect and the Pokemon.

He's a joke... right up until he wins
Let's face it - you probably thought Trump was an idiot. With his outlandish statements, complete lack of government experience, scandal and crude language... you probably honestly thought there was absolutely no way someone like him would win... that it was impossible. Every poll and betting place got it wrong... The media and the left completely underestimated him to the point they never saw his victory coming.
Source: MTG Cardsmith
Similarly, There is a reason such a strange and goofy looking Pokemon such as Wobbuffet has been placed in Smogon's competitive Pokemon frequently banned tier (deemed too powerful for many unofficial tournaments)! Despite its goofy and offbeat appearance: Wobbuffet is a powerful Pokemon!

He can take a lot of damage & counter enemy attacks
Let's face it, how many other politicians would have survived the amount of scandals Trump has been subject to in the campaign? The Trump tapes would have been enough to knock most well and truly out of the race but many "Deplorables" took lines like "Grab 'em by the pussy" as their new slogan and in many circles it had the opposite effect of the smear campaign it was meant to be. In fact many Trump supporters on the internet turned many of these attempted attacks into a frog-worshipping meme cult which fueled the formidable power of their "God Emperor" as - with some help from Wikileaks - he took down the media and the opposing party the same way he took down Vince McMahon.


Now let's look at Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet has incredibly high special defense, defense and HP stats which contribute to its ability to take a LOT of damage. Plus it also had the moves safeguard, mirror coat and counter which if played correctly can protect Wobbuffet and help it win so much it gets tired of winning.


There's nowhere to run or hide
Wobbuffet is notorious for its ability to use an ability called "Shadow Tag" called which prevents its opponents from being able to switch out and that's probably how you're now feeling over the concept of a Trump presidency. Plus Wobbuffet also has a habit of popping up when you least expect as it tends to in the anime where it joins Team Rocket... Just like Trump's presidency.
Using the growing discontent with the politically correct American society which had forced many conservatives into hiding as one of his main selling points, Trump has given those looking to retreat into their "safe spaces" nowhere to run and made them confront the chilling fact of life that people don't have to agree with you. Even if you shut your ears - the music is still playing.

You probably thought that if you turned off the TV and hid in your "safe spaces" and the echo chambers you created by deleting all your Facebook friends who had a different opinion to you that you probably wouldn't have to hear about Trump but, guess what? This rich nationalist Oompa Loompa you tried to get away from... He's now your president.

He has his own "destiny bond" move - Mike Pence 
"Destiny Bond" is one of Wobbuffet's most powerful moves which works like this: "When this move is used, if the user faints, the Pokémon that landed the knockout hit also faints."


Now you are probably wondering how this relates to The_Donald but in the wake of Trump being elected a lot of left wingers have called for an assassination BUT let's all just admit that would be a VERY bad idea. Trump's real trump card comes in the form of former Indiana Governer Mike Pence who is probably every liberal left wing social justice warrior's worst nightmare incarnate: "Libs have to second guess their actions... because it'll unleash this ultraconservative, anti-gay, pro-life, stern dad looking motherfucker as president with a republican super team behind him." (as decribed by an anon 4chan user). It's a perfect choice for anti-assassination insurance because, who in their right mind wants a present who believes gays can be converted and put into practice some of the strictest abortion laws ever?